These Phrases given by My Dad Which Helped Us during my time as a Brand-New Parent

"I believe I was simply in survival mode for a year."

Ex- reality TV cast member Ryan Libbey expected to cope with the demands of being a father.

But the truth soon turned out to be "completely different" to his expectations.

Serious health issues around the birth saw his partner Louise admitted to hospital. All of a sudden he was pushed into becoming her chief support as well as taking care of their newborn son Leo.

"I handled all the nights, every change… each outing. The duty of both mum and dad," Ryan stated.

After nearly a year he reached burnout. That was when a chat with his father, on a park bench, that made him realise he required support.

The direct words "You're not in a good place. You need assistance. What can I do to assist you?" opened the door for Ryan to talk openly, ask for help and regain his footing.

His situation is not uncommon, but infrequently talked about. While people is now more comfortable addressing the strain on mums and about post-natal depression, far less attention is paid about the struggles fathers face.

Asking for help is not weak to ask for help

Ryan believes his difficulties are part of a larger failure to open up between men, who still hold onto negative perceptions of manhood.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the rock that just gets hit and doesn't fall with each wave."

"It is not a show of being weak to request help. I failed to do that quick enough," he adds.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist focusing on mental health pre and post childbirth, says men can be reluctant to admit they're struggling.

They can feel they are "not a legitimate person to be requesting help" - most notably ahead of a new mother and infant - but she emphasises their mental state is vitally important to the household.

Ryan's chat with his dad gave him the opportunity to request a respite - spending a short trip overseas, separate from the domestic setting, to get a fresh outlook.

He realised he required a adjustment to pay attention to his and his partner's emotions in addition to the day-to-day duties of caring for a infant.

When he opened up to Louise, he saw he'd failed to notice "what she was yearning" -reassuring touch and hearing her out.

Reparenting yourself'

That realisation has reshaped how Ryan perceives fatherhood.

He's now writing Leo letters each week about his feelings as a dad, which he wishes his son will look at as he gets older.

Ryan hopes these will help his son to better grasp the expression of emotion and understand his parenting choices.

The notion of "self-parenting" is something rapper and songwriter Professor Green - real name Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four.

As a child Stephen did not have consistent male a father figure. Despite having an "wonderful" relationship with his dad, profound difficult experiences meant his father had difficulty managing and was "present intermittently" of his life, affecting their bond.

Stephen says suppressing feelings led him to make "terrible decisions" when he was younger to modify how he was feeling, finding solace in drink and drugs as escapism from the anguish.

"You gravitate to substances that are harmful," he explains. "They can short-term modify how you feel, but they will ultimately cause more harm."

Strategies for Coping as a First-Time Parent

• Share with someone - if you feel under pressure, tell a family member, your other half or a professional what you're going through. This can to ease the pressure and make you feel less isolated.
• Keep up your interests - keep doing the pursuits that allowed you to feel like the person you were before having a baby. It could be exercising, socialising or a favourite hobby.
• Look after the physical stuff - nutritious food, getting some exercise and if you can, sleep, all are important in how your mental state is doing.
• Connect with other parents in the same boat - hearing about their journeys, the difficult parts, along with the positive moments, can help to validate how you're experiencing things.
• Understand that asking for help does not mean you've failed - prioritising your own well-being is the best way you can care for your household.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen understandably had difficulty processing the loss, having not spoken to him for many years.

As a dad now, Stephen's determined not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his boy and instead provide the security and emotional support he did not receive.

When his son starts to have a tantrum, for example, they try "releasing the emotion" together - expressing the frustrations in a healthy way.

The two men Ryan and Stephen say they have become improved and more well-rounded men because they acknowledged their struggles, transformed how they express themselves, and learned to control themselves for their children.

"I am now more capable of… sitting with things and managing things," says Stephen.

"I expressed that in a message to Leo recently," Ryan says. "I said, on occasion I think my purpose is to teach and advise you on life, but the truth is, it's a exchange. I'm learning just as much as you are in this journey."